The Other Sun
by Deloren96
Summary: Imagine if Renesmee had never been, what would become of the Cullens? Would the love triangle continue? Would Jake stick around? This is the story of the not-so-perfect aftermath of the Cullens
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

My life had ended, but my body still lived. My heart had stopped beating, but I still loved. I still pained.

They had wrenched him from me. My family hadn't tried to stop them. They had watched in horror as The Vampire was destroyed.

Then there was The Wolf. His undying love would become all I had. His presence would set into play a war, but our love could stop it.

Our lives intertwined when The Vampires' ended. The twining of our threads, the cutting of The Vampires', it all leads me to say;

I. Still. Live.

Chapter one

My heart rose to a strained hum as it continued to pound in my chest. It took off like a helicopter as my blood burned like a fire. Suddenly I lurched up, one strained scream escaping my lips. My back arched as I screamed louder.

Suddenly my heart came to a stop, my body fell limp on the table. I felt prodding hands on mine as I started to realize what was going on.

"Bella? Bella love, can you hear me?" Edward spoke, his voice strained and scared. He squeezed my hand gently, his now satin skin against mine.

Slowly my eyes fluttered open, the world sparkling before my eyes. The wood looked like a dream in itself before I even looked to the rest of the room. Slowly I smelled as well. A stink not even describable burned in my throat and in my nose. I lurched into a sitting position, my eyes showing my curiosity.

Standing before me was Jacob. He smiled and waved at me, his tan skin welcoming to my eyes. I however was not paying attention to his stink.

Another smell burned deeper into my throat, something luscious and sweet. Without thinking I lurched forward for him, my eyes on his throat. Edward's arms snaked around my waist almost instantly. I hissed at him, then letting out a disappointed cry. It sounded almost like a yowling cat.

Jake lurched back, then catching Edward's eye. He took off down the hall. I twisted and writhed in Edward's arms. The smell was leaving, and I wanted it bad.

"Bella, Bella snap out of it love!" His voice was now urgent as he struggled to keep his arms around me. I let out another hiss, twisting in his arms harder. Suddenly Emmett was in front of me, his arms restraining me as well.

I snarled, trying to break free to get to the sweet, sweet smell of Jacob- Jacob. A wave of realization hit me. I was going after my best friend, trying to eat him.

Slowly I relaxed in Emmett's arms as Edward cupped my face and spoke to me calmly.

"E-Edward? What happened? Why am I-" Suddenly before I could speak one more word, my throat went up in flames. I choked back my words, leaning against Em for restraint.

"It's okay Bells, I got ya." his arms around my shoulders tightened the slightest bit. I tried to smile, but I was worried if I even took one breath, the flames would double in my throat.

Edward glanced to Emmett, a warning glance if anything else, then took off downstairs. A few seconds later he returned with Carlisle in tow.

"You two can go hunting, everyone will be here when you get back." he glanced to Emmett and I, then taking my hand. "And Bella, hunt a lot, we'll be needing you able to control yourself."

I nodded, Edward walked over and took my hand. With that, Emmet released his grip on my shoulders. Edward led me to the window, his hand gentle on mine. I watched him carefully, trying to forget the awful burning.

"Watch me. Emmett?" Emmett stepped forward, a reminding hand on my shoulder. I took his hand as well, still not trusting myself.

Edward opened the window, jumping out elegantly. A few seconds later, he landed on the ground looking up expectantly. I looked down to him, my fear of heights creeping up on me slowly. I swallowed nervously, stepping up on the window-sill. Emmett let go of my shoulder, expecting me to jump.

"Can't we just take the stairs?" I mumbled this to both Edward and Emmett, I knew they could hear me. Emmett chuckled, patting my shoulder once.

"Not unless you want a dead wolf." Replied Emmett, reminding me of the burning, I turned back to the sky. Without thinking any further, I stepped forward, stepping onto thin air. I felt the air against my face as I fell towards Edward.

When I hit the ground, I crouched in response to the force. I landed almost perfectly, except for my balance. As I stood, I swayed a bit, Edward caught my elbow with a chuckle. I smiled back.

Taking my hand in his, he ran towards the woods. I followed, soon amazing myself with my new speed and agility. I laughed to myself, soon leading him. He smiled as well, soon letting go of my hand and letting me take the lead.

A few miles later, he snaked his arms around my waist pulling me to a stop. I laughed as he lifted me up into the air, twisting me around to face him. I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck.

His lips found mine, crushing against them with a force I didn't think existed. I pulled myself closer, crushing my lips to his just as fiercely. He pulled on me as well, getting as close as we could possibly be.

He ended the kiss slowly, reluctant to stop. I let him, knowing that he must have a reason.

"You've been holding out on me." I jokingly accused him, laying my head against his.

"It was sort of necessary at the time Love." He smiled, kissing my forehead and lingering there. "We need to hunt, more so you than I." his lips brushed my forehead as he spoke. Sighing, I pulled away, only leaving our hands connected.

"So, where to?" I smiled up at him, ready for his instructions. He smiled back, then releasing my hand. He took my shoulders, steadying me to look due north.

"Close your eyes," I did as he said, closing my eyes tight. "Now, tell me what you hear." With that, he stilled. I could barely tell he was there.

As I listened, I could have said everything. I could hear he birds, the squirrels, even the worms. But I knew that Edward meant a specific something. So I listened more carefully, picking my answer carefully.

"I hear... Deer? By the river to the..." That's when I looked to him for help. He smiled.

"Very good, they're to the east." He took my shoulders again, angling me east. "Now, tell me what you smell." Again, he went still.

Sniffing carefully, I took a deep breath, immediately shocked. There was a smell I knew well, one I wasn't about to investigate any further. My eyes flew open, I twirled to face Edward. His face was worried as well, he trying to battle the smell as well.

Quickly he took me against his chest. I knew that wasn't going to help, so I just ran. I ran back the way we came, not stopping for anything. As soon as the air was clear, I came to an abrupt halt. Edward ran past me a bit, stopping as soon as he noticed.

"How did you do that?" His voice was incredulous, shock written clear on his face.

"Do what? Run, I-" He cut me off impatiently.

"How did you stop hunting those humans? How did you run away?" He was close to me now, staring at me waiting for my answer.

"I held my breath and ran. Why? Is that a bad thing?" I looked to him worriedly. Had I done something wrong? Was I supposed to have fed on the humans? Suddenly he laughed.

"Was that wrong? God, no Bella. It was amazing, but newborns should not be able to do that. No one, not even I, could do that. But you... You're only a few hours old and you 'held your breath and ran away.' " he laughed, kissing my forehead lightly.

I smiled, taking his hand in mine.

"Can we please hunt now, my throat is killing me." I pulled away, facing east just as a test direction.

Within minutes I heard the _Pad pad pad_ of a mountain lions paws. She jumped into a tree, spotting Edward and I as prey. I leapt into that tree without Edward's knowing it.

Wrapping my arms around the cat's torso, I crushed as she yowled. Her claws slashed out against my diamond hard skin, doing nothing to me but more to my clothes. I leapt forward, my lips biting into her neck.

She pulled away, pulling us both to the ground. I continued to drink, sad when she did empty. I pulled away, standing up to look at Edward. His eyes were wide, staring at ms and then the cat.

"To much?" I laughed, trying to smooth my outfit. He laughed, coming to my side.

"No, it's just hard to watch you wrestle with a giant cat after years of stumbles and cuts." He took his shirt off, taking a few steps closer. "Old habits die hard. I do like the improvements to your outfit however." He wrapped his shirt around me as I laughed.

"That bad huh?" I buttoned the shirt up, slipping my arms through the sleeves. He chuckled, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Well, let's just say it wouldn't be appropriate for some audiences at home." He laughed, as I giggled with him.

Soon he took me by the arm, leading me to some more prey. After a few hours, I felt as though blood was sloshing in my stomach. Edward took my hand, ready to lead me back to the house.

"I want to see Renesmee." I mumbled this, waiting for his reaction. He just squeezed my hand, leading me off into the forest. I pulled against him, glaring into his eyes.

"Edward, what happened? How is Renesmee?" My voice shot up an octave, I took his hand harder.

"Bella, please. Let's just get home, everything will be explained then." He pulled me after him, soon running to the house.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

I practically raced Edward to the house, not waiting any longer for him to blow off our daughter. As I saw the yard ahead of me, I gave myself an extra boost. I suddenly felt very nervous.

"Bella, wait." Edward grabbed my hand, pulling me to a stop. I twisted around, impatiently looking to him.

"Edward, I just want my daughter." I murmured this, trying to get him to the house faster.

"Bella... Before we go in there, please stay calm. Don't... Overreact." He mumbled this, his eyes turning pained and slightly overprotective. I looked to him as confusion swept over me, my hand fell from his as I walked to the house.

Alice was the first one to see me, running to the door and throwing her arms around me. She smiled at first, but as soon as I hugged back, I could feel her tense. I pulled out of the hug, looking to her for an answer... Hopefully.

"What's wrong Alice?" I stared at her blank face, waiting for her to tell me something. She just blew it off, smiling brightly up at me. Edward joined my side, directing a nod to Carlisle.

I glanced in-between the two of them, not sure which one to turn to first. I finally fixed my gaze on Carlisle. He walked over and took my hand in his.

"Bella," He let out an exasperated sigh. "Renesmee.. She um.. Didn't make it much longer after birth."

My face went blank as I just stared at him. He was lying, they were all playing some sick joke... She would laugh any minute. I'd get to hold her in my arms, her warmth...

"You're lying. She can't be dead. She can't be. My Renesmee... She wouldn't die." I said this through my teeth, my eyes closing painfully. Edward took my hand, but I yanked it away.

"You're lying! She's fine, she's perfect... My baby is going to be fine!" I glared to Carlisle then, my anger taking over more than my denial. I could feel the tears as they came, then stopped by the venom.

"Bella, we did everything we could... I did everything I could." He looked to me softly, trying to calm me down. I could feel the calm coming, but at that I just glared to Jasper.

"Stop it!" I hissed at him, whirling to run out the door. I could hear Edward behind me, but I didn't stop. I ran into the forest, not paying any attention to my surroundings. My mind was wondering a million and one different directions.

My little nudger was not dead! They were lying to me, trying to keep some other secret from me. They all were lying. She was going to run into my arms the next time I went home. She was going to laugh; she would have the laugh of bells. I wouldn't let her go, I would hold her every day, and every minute I got the chance. She would be my little angel, she'd be part of my life forever.

I stopped suddenly. I couldn't do it, I couldn't face the truth, but I knew it was true. My little girl... The one I had only held for a few minutes before three days of excruciating pain, just to hear she's dead.

Edward came up slowly behind me, his arm snaking around my shoulders. He pulled me against his chest, holding me so tight it hurt. I cried tearless sobs, wrapping my arms limply around him. I cried out all my pain, just wanting him to hold me and tell me it would be okay. Soon enough, he was resting his head on my shoulder as we slipped to the ground. He pulled me into his lap, letting me cry as much as I wanted.

"Tell me it will be okay... Tell me they were lying." I mumbled this in-between sobs, pulling him closer to me. He stroked my head, kissing the top of it.

"I can't do that. They weren't lying... No matter how much I wish it too. But I can say it will be okay. She will always have a place in our hearts... She won't go away unremembered." His voice was soft but thick, as if he had been crying as well.

Then it struck me, what if I had listened to him? What if I had said the Hell with it and had given up my baby? Would I still be living, or would we try again and get luckier? All I knew was that, at the moment, I wish I had listened to Edward.

"I should've listened to you... God, why do I have to be so stubborn!" I broke down into another fit of sobs, burying my head closer to his chest. He sighed, pulling me away and cupping my face.

"Do not ever blame yourself for this. Never, do you hear me? It was no ones fault, but please don't feel guilty." He kissed me then, I think he was seeking for his own comfort just as much as he was trying to give me. I kissed back lightly, I didn't had the energy or passion for anything more after crying as much as I had.

I pulled him closer, trying to give him comfort as well. Slowly he pulled away, cradling his face in my hands. I didn't smile, didn't breathe, I just let him hold me.

"Bella, we are going to get through this Bella. Promise me that you won't give up?" His voice was uncertain, it seemed he was questioning my commitment. I reached up, cradling his face as well.

"Edward, I will never give up on you, or my family."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three.

Edward and I stayed in the forest for a while, sitting and holding each other. Soon enough however, he said the others would worry. I sighed, not sure if I could stop worrying myself.

"Edward... Did Carlisle seem upset? I feel really bad for... All of that." I looked into his eyes, hoping for some real answer. I didn't want him to downplay it.

"He understands. He really already knew that you would react somewhat like you did... He's not mad." Edward stroked my cheek, sending chills down my spine. He stood then, sticking his hand out for me. I took it, standing at his side.

"I hope Jazz is okay to..." I trailed off, looking into the forest.

The trees formed new patterns to my eyes. Their branches twisted around each other, every grain visible to my eyes. I stared blankly into the woods, my mind splitting a million different ways.

One way was of fascination. All the new things I could do, the things I could see, blew me away. I wanted to smile and go running, hunting, laughing. But then came the other direction.

The other was depression. My little girl was gone, I had only held her once, and now she was gone. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, scream out all of my anger and frustration. I wanted to punch something, hurt something, I wanted my little girl back.

And yet another part of my mind wandered to my family. I wouldn't be able to see Charlie for a few years at least. We'd probably have to fake my death, or Edward would get his way and we would go to college. I wanted my dad, I wanted my mom...

And yet, I still had another burning question. Why was Jake still around? I thought he would have gone as soon as I died. There was no more use for protection over me.

"Bella?" Edward spoke beside me, yanking my mind to him. His arm was around my waist, his lips by my ear. I turned to look to him, giving him my best fake smile. He rolled his eyes, chuckling slightly.

"What's wrong?" I looked to the ground, taking his other hand in mine.

"Everything." I twisted his fingers around mine, leaning against him for support.

**************

Edward and I walked at a remarkably slow pace back to the house. Although it was slow, I didn't care. I didn't want to go back to them, I was an emotional wreck. I knew I probably looked like one as well.

As we walked, Edward was telling me all about her. How her hair fell to her shoulders when she was just born, how her eyes were the warm brown that mine used to be. He said that she looked more like me and Charlie then him. I smiled at that, Charlie would have loved her. Edward went on to say that she was already teething, that she would bite Rose all the time. I laughed, smiling at my little nudger.

Edward was soon laughing as well, telling me stories of the few days she was alive. He had finally said that she died on the second day. But he also said that she never stopped asking for me, and then he went on to explain the way she communicated. I was amazed and slightly dumfounded by the fact that this was my daughter we were talking about. She sounded like no other, she even sounded like she acted older than a two day old infant. Edward had said that she had sped up aging. When she would have been six, she would have looked sixteen.

Carlisle had been uncertain if the pattern would have slowed though... He thought that she would just keep aging at that pace. That was about when we got back to the house.

Esme ran out the door, pulling me into a hug. I smiled into her shoulder as she hug me tight. Jazz and Alice came next, saying a million and one things. It was mostly Alice with her hyperactive mouth.

"Alice, slow please." She giggled at this, concentrating on how to dwindle her excitement.

"I was saying that we need to get you a change of clothes, and then I also want to show you something. But first we need to get a mirror and some new clothes. Edward hasn't let me forget the whole no mirror thing from the wedding, and I really think you'll like what you see now..." At that she took my hand and pulled me into the house. She was still rambling, but once I spotted Jake, I yanked myself away from her.

"Jake!" I smiled to him as he leaned against the wall. He turned to look at me, a big smile across his face.

"Hey Bells, you doing any better?" He took a few cautious steps forward, smiling down to me. I chuckled, throwing myself against him. I hugged him tight as he hugged back. "Take that as a yes." I laughed. My Jake was still here... He still hang around.

"I'm sorry I tried to err.. Eat you earlier." I pulled away, smiling sheepishly. He chuckled, smiling even wider.

"Nah, no big deal. I am hunted everyday." He rolled his eyes, signaling some joke. I giggled a little, not quite getting it. That was when Alice came up behind me.

"C'mon! Hurry up!" I rolled my eyes, letting her take me the rest of the way up the stairs.

For the next fifteen minutes, I let her play dress up with me. Finally she settled on a pair of skinny jeans, a black tank top that had white flowers by my right hip, and a pair of sneakers. Overall, it was very much my style. Then, she went to my hair. Sighing, I rolled my eyes and let do whatever.

Another ten minutes later, she dragged me over to a mirror. She centered me in front, then telling me to turn around. Slowly, I obeyed.

Standing before me was a goddess. Her pale skin was practically white compared to the black shirt and her dark hair. Her hair fell to the middle of her back, slightly curled thanks to Alice.

My second glimpse told me that she wasn't in fact all goddess. Her eyes practically glowed red, and she stood like a predator. I couldn't believe this was me.

"T-the eyes... How long?" I stuttered, raising a hand to the glass slowly. Not to my surprise, the goddess mimicked.

"A few months.. Probably half a year." Alice came to stand beside me then, taking my hand away from the mirror. "C'mon, let's go show Edward." she giggled, towing me out of her room.

As we descended the stairs, I could hear a heated argument.

"No! Absolutely not!" That was Jake.

"We need more time, just give it a chance." That was Edward, soon followed by Carlisle.

"Jacob, solve things in La Push. Then, we may be ready for this."

That was when I came around the corner. I flitted to Edward's side, taking his hand in mine.

"What's going on?" I looked up to him innocently, but he stared back too complex for me to read.

"Nothing Bella-"

"What do you mean nothing? You have to tell her since, after all, she is the main reason for all of it!" Jake took a few steps forward, and it was then I noticed Seth and Leah. They took a few steps closer to him, Seth trying to pull him away.

"Jake-" I started but was surprised when Edward growled and took a step in front of me.

"I don't have the patience for this dog. It's bad enough already with you-" Jake glared to him, stifling a growl himself.

"You've dealt with it for the past three years, so I suggest that you move on." Jake spoke almost diabolically, like he was the one in control.

"That's my wife you're talking about!" With that I stepped in between them both. I pressed my hands on their chests and held them apart.

"Shut up! I am tired of being fought over!" I glared to Edward, even more upset when I saw he was still glaring at Jake.

"We aren't fighting over you-" Before Jake could say anymore, I pounded my fist against his chest. "Ow!" He exclaimed taking a few steps back.

"Shut up. I am tired of you guys hating each other. Until you guys can get along," I glanced to Carlisle first. He nodded, seeing where I was going with this. "I want you out of my house! Out of our house." I glared to Jake, not swaying in my decision in the least.

"Bella-" He started, but before he could, I raised my hand threatening to hit him again. He backed up slightly.

"Do not start with me Jacob Black. Go. Now." I glared to him, my fist still threatening. My other hand was still on Edward's chest. When I felt him stifle a laugh, I smacked out with that hand. I didn't even bother to look at him.

Jake backed away, Seth and Leah in tow. Slowly they left the house. That was when I turned to Edward.

"What the Hell was that!" I was still fuming mad. I could feel Jazz trying to calm me, but I just glared to him. He stopped.

"Bella you don't understand-"

"Oh don't I? You guys are fighting over me like I'm some sort of prize! I was standing right there Edward! You both acted immature, so don't even go there with me! Unless there is some other meaning behind all of your stupidity, I suggest you either tell me what the Hell is going on, or shut the Hell up!"

I turned on my heel, mumbling that I was going out. I opened the door, sulking out into the woods. I needed time to think and calm down, and I swear, if anyone came after me, I'd rip their heads off.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four.

I hadn't realized it earlier, but apparently Alice had snuck me a cell phone. I knew this because every five minutes it would ring. I had no doubt in my mind that it was Edward, but I was not in the mood to talk to him. I finally put it on silent, although that was nothing to my new ears. I was half tempted to throw it into some tree, it was driving me insane.

I finally pushed it to the back of my mind, trying to calm myself down. I focused on the birds, the trees, anything but Edward. Slowly I felt almost tranquil, but it took quite some time.

I started to think of Charlie, Renee, Phil... Everyone I loved. I had to let them go, but could I? I didn't know what the others were telling Charlie for the past three days, but I knew he would not be anywhere near happy. I decided to go see him.

Turning around in the woods, I headed off in the direction of my old home. Then I thought about it for a second time.

What if I couldn't control myself? Also, there was the whole issue of my eyes. The red would scare away any sane person. Maybe Alice had seen this...

I felt around in my pockets, soon coming across a small round container. God, I love Alice. I smiled as I pulled out the contacts. There were several pairs, along with a note.

/the venom in your eyes will disintegrate the contacts after about three hours. You have six pairs, you can do the math. ~Alice/

Yeah, I'm going to love having her as a sister.

I walked up the porch steps, putting the first pair of contacts in. Taking a deep breath, I rang the door bell. I heard his footsteps as he trudged to the door. I smiled to myself, same old lazy Charlie.

"Can I-" Shock crossed his face as he registered it was me. "Bella! Bella!" He pulled me into his arms; his face had turned to pure joy. I laughed, hugging back lightly.

"Hey daddy." As soon as I spoke, I regretted it. He smelled so good, so luscious. I wanted to- no! Stop it! I will not think that way of my father.

"Daddy? Oh gosh, what's wrong?" He pulled out of the hug, giving me a skeptical look. I laughed.

"Nothing dad, I just missed you." Damn! How was I going to get through /hours/ of this?

"Well, I missed you too Bells. Now tell me, what exactly did you manage to catch on your honeymoon?" He laughed, leading me into the house. I smiled, taking the few steps into the house.

"Some rare thing, Carlisle was just worried for you that's why he didn't let you see me. It's highly contagious, but not really harmful." I smiled up to dad, as he smiled back.

"So... You are better right?" He sat on the couch, patting the seat next to him. Joking around, I coughed loudly right next to him. He laughed, thanking me for the disease. I laughed again.

For the next three hours, I talked and laughed with my dad. I even watched a sport. He laughed at this, but the truth is, I never realized how truly amazing they could be. After a while, I excused myself to the bathroom.

Staring into the mirror, I watched in amazement as my eyes went from brown to red in a matter of seconds. Quickly I pulled out the next pair, sticking them in. I "finished my business" and went back out to him.

"Dad, I have to go. Edward has been calling, so I should go see what he wants." Charlie got up, hugging me one last time before I headed out the door.

Once outside, I picked up the phone. Dialing Edward's number, I wasn't surprised when he picked up on the first ring.

"Bella?"

"Who else? Look, I'm fine, so stop with the calling. I'll be home in a few minutes, if Charlie stops babbling. But just..." I trailed off, waiting for his reaction.

"Bella, I'm so sorry! Please, just hurry." With that he hung up. I clicked end, walking off into the forest.

I walked up the gravel driveway, completely calm. My time with dad really had helped, and I got to spill all kind of crap I was holding in. I could hear the others inside, chatting amongst themselves, but I was surprised when Edward wasn't one of the voices. Opening the door, I walked into a busy living room. Em walked by, ruffling my hair. I laughed, smacking out at him.

"Way to go with the whole... Feisty thing." He chuckled, walking back over to Rose. I laughed too, trying to find Edward. Alice walked up, her face bright and happy. I smiled back.

"I see someone found the contacts?" I nodded, then telling her all about my visit with Charlie. She sat and listened, saying that the next time I visited, she'd come too.

"Uh, where's Edward?" I finally asked this, my curiosity overtaking me. She smiled, pointing up the stairs.

"He's in his room. I would be careful if I were you, he doesn't seem as calm as you." She winked, getting up to go stand beside Jazz.

Getting up, I ran up the stairs and to his room. I didn't bother to knock, I just opened the door, then leaning against the frame.

"Bella! You're back!" He turned to face me, setting down his cell phone. I rolled my eyes.

"Paranoid much?" I gestured to the cell, earning a smirk from him. I just rolled my eyes again.

"Bella, please never run off like that again. I-" I cut him off, seeing where he was leading with that.

"You what? Were worried about me? Edward, I'm a vampire now. A newborn as well, so I doubt there is much to worry about." I knew I was acting snobby, but at the moment I didn't much care. He stared back to me, feeling the obvious tension as well.

"Bella, just because you're a vampire doesn't mean I stop caring. I will never stop caring so long as I live." He took a few steps towards the door, trying to lighten my mood. I sighed, standing up off the wall.

"Good, then if you care for my sanity, you'll tell me what the Hell was with the fight between you and Jake." I smirked up to him, using his words against him wisely. He sighed, leaning his head back as if to look at the ceiling.

"Bella, I can't. I promised Jacob, and no matter how much you think I hate him, I will keep my promise on this. Though god knows I'd love to rip his head off for it." He mumbled that last part under his breath, dropping his gaze back to me.

"See, that right there is exactly my issue. You say you don't hate him right to my face, then you go murmuring the things and ways you'd do to see him dead. When will you understand that when I needed him most, he was there? He was there when I may as well have been dead, and you didn't care enough to actually come back and see for yourself that I was perfectly fine!"

I was officially mad now, there was no denying that. I could hear the others still as they listened to us fight.

"And when will you realize Bella, that every night I regret that decision? I hate myself for that! If I had one re-do, one more chance, I'd take it all back!"

We were both fuming at each other, but what he said nonetheless touched me. I let my glare go, looking to the floor almost sheepishly.

"Edward... I never..." Running a hand through my hair, I took a few steps back. He softened as well, his shoulders sagging sadly.

"Bella, I never meant for any of this to happen. I don't want to fight, but I hope you understand, I can't tell you. It's Jacob's secret to tell." He looked to me regretfully, and I somehow softened more.

"Edward, I..." I was at a loss for words. I was unsure whether to apologize or dig deeper into the issue. "I don't know what to do anymore. This day has been a mess. I woke up somehow thinking that I'd be living my dream. But instead I woke up, tried to eat my best friend, found out my daughter is dead, and fight with my husband. I don't know what the hell to think or say anymore. What I thought was going to be heaven has turned into hell." I looked up to him, my eyes burning with invisible tears.

He rubbed his temples, trying to relieve the stress.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I truly am. But these past few days have been hell for me as well." He sighed, letting the rest of the description up to me.

I understood completely however. He had been the one to watch me writhe in pain, and the one to watch our daughter die. He was also the one to watch me die, watch me carry a child, losing my life while doing it.

I just stood there, letting the air grow cold. I couldn't say anything to make this better, couldn't do anything. I finally lifted my gaze, locking eyes with him.

"I..." I finally fell against the couch. I knotted my hands into my hair, sighing in defeat. "I give up. Maybe you're right, and maybe I should ask Jake. But I just don't understand why..." I trailed of as he came to sit by me.

He took my hand carefully, not trying to go overboard with contact. He twisted our fingers together, looking down thoughtfully.

"Bella, just go talk to him. I'm sure he'll explain." he smiled shyly. Without much thought, I threw myself into his arms.

"I'm so sorry! I don't want to fight either! I'm sorry!" I mumbled this into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. He nestled his face into the crook of my neck.


End file.
